Roll Notes 01
Sep 5
This past weekend Lauren and I set out to find the ruins of the Syonan Jinja about 5 miles off-trail at the MacRitchie reservoir. It was an incredible hike but also seriously challenging. I was crawling on my elbows and knees below vegetation and mounting over fallen trees. I lost gallons of water and ended the trip completely dehydrated. We did, however, find the shrine and remains of the small area utilized by the Japanese during their occupation of Singapore from 1943-45. It truly was an incredible site to see and I do think I got some really cool images.
That being said- I have yet to see any of the photos I made and I already feel a bit disappointed by them.
Maybe disappointed isn’t the correct word. More so let down by my vision and what I was pointing my camera at. I feel that the images I make that may look good and be aesthetically pleasing are not very fulfilling to make. They emit the feeling of ‘lack’. Be it depth, meaning, significance or relation- they are not the best I know that I can produce.
When exiting the path I stumbled upon an old cryptic sign nailed to a tree with what looked like railroad spikes. This really caught my attention, so I loaded one more roll of film in my camera to make one last image. This image has stuck in my mind. I think this image has much more potential than any of the others I made that day. It was so simple- and what I really like about it is I captured it not because of the light, the composition, none of what I usually look for. It was purely for the subject of the image.
When I recall the image it prompts so many questions. I wonder what it means, who put it there and why it’s lasted. I don’t really know what it means for my project or, as I continue down the path of the feeling it gives me, what It will turn the project into. It makes me interested in typography and its effect on the environment.
There was an old dirty ‘do not enter’ sign right before the path we discovered that I want to return to photograph because I feel that it is connected to this image.
These images and ideas have prompted a specific word in my head. I cant help but think of the word “magnum”. Not that I would ever consider a single thing I’ve done (or will ever do) Magnum, but it really reminds me of Alec Soth and a few of the images from his project Sleeping By The Mississippi. It makes me really excited and kinda makes me okay with making bad images.
I recently heard a bit of advice written by Soth where he explains that all you ever need to do is make work. Never don’t make work. When you start it will always be bad and you have to be okay with that. The best thing you can do is just create and the world will show you something far more interesting than what is going on in your head.
I think the image that I can’t get out of my head is the world showing me exactly that- something far more interesting that what I was making. This series of thoughts and progression of a series reminds me of another talk I tuned into by Soth where he explains the process Sleeping By The Mississippi went through. It started as a completely different idea than what it tuned into and Soth was just along for the ride. He let work happen, then immediately fall out of relevance and was perfectly okay with it. He describes being more of a witness than an actor involved in the process.
Quick studies on a few interesting scenes:
Walking home around midnight the past few nights I’ve seen scenes I want to return to photograph. I also feel that these are somehow connected to the same feeling that image prompts. I am so excited to finish that roll and see the image. I tried to research what it was, based on memory, but didn’t find much. I will look further into it once I have the image developed.
The more I think of these images and the above image I described it makes me think of the idea of artificiality. I recently learned that pretty much all of the jungles and vegetation in Singapore were planted and put there by man, secondary forests. This makes me think Price Tag (the name I’m giving it before I even see it) is just some type of toe-tag (like those attached to dead-bodies), or a price tag attached to an antique. Something that seems so official, yet is actually incredibly artificial. I think the image with the bright neon sign against the old and tattered façade omits a similar idea. Not exactly sure what that idea is or how exactly it is related, but they feel interconnected or from the same series.
This is one of the first moments that I’ve really been able to generate images that I feel have a similar interconnected meaning. It feels like there is depth beyond what is seen and the images support one another in a way that adds to the viewing experience. I also often struggle to give my images names, and the idea of Price Tag- be it the name of the project or of just that image provides the viewer with depth and prompts them to look at the images a specific way. As if that tree came with a price, all of the images, subjects or objects came with a price and are actually all more artificial that they might seem.
Last night Carine was talking about how Singapore found a loop hole that allows it to hold the title of a ‘developing country’. Apparently (I still need to do my own research to confirm this) this loophole enables the country to produce massive carbon footprints and not be persecuted for it. She mentioned that Singapore has like the 7th largest carbon footprint in the world! I think this idea could somehow seep into this project of artificiality, loopholes, the idea of façades, masks, two-faced, hidden, covered / uncovered, tagged, everything has a price / nothing in the world is free, ….
Sep 6
I want to focus on façades. Specifically on how we (whatever that means) judge and perceive things to be as a projection of ourselves on it. That could mean we only see things in relation to or in the light of an agenda, or who we want to be or see our selves being. I think it all boils down to an attempt to control. I think people judge to feel a sense of control over an entropic experience, or regarding the environment they control it for immediate gain when it inevitably will lead to the demise of humanity… I don’t really want to go down the route of environmentalism or anything surface level like that, I want to explore why we do it. What it is about the human experience that makes us resort to stuff like this and how we understand how it happens on a systemic level.
Do I even want to explore how it happens systemically? I think that feels too basic and surface. I want to focus on the human experience and really dig into how humans perceive the world and how we try to control it. Maybe I can use examples (like the tree) to relate to how we in the human experience use our environment and others to control and feel like we are in control.
We could be a single person, it could be me as an artist, we as a group of people or them as a group of people that I or we don’t associate with.
Recently I haven’t rid my mind of Soth’s Sleeping By the Mississippi because of his ability to capture these images so freely yet with so much depth and significance. He is so incredibly inspiring and I am really interested in his practice. I tried to go out and find a large-format camera today because I am so interested in the method and practice of the format. I really want to explore it and focus on the practice. I couldn’t find one and it might not be a great idea to get into it while I’m here in Singapore. As much as I want to, I think it’s better left for when I return home.
I also don’t really want to focus on a project that I can only do while I’m here in Singapore. I don’t want to run out of time and have to drop the project. Ideally, I will be able to sum it up with a start at the end of this semester and continue it for a while back home. Maybe then I’ll enter the world of large-format and can explore alternative processes like the collodion process that I am dying to try.
Look deeper into Sleeping by the Mississippi, look deeper into Broken Manual and (Jack Lowe) dig up the project by that guy who did the wet plate collodion with the english boats.
