must i hand-hold?

exposed 2021, revoked 2022

Much of my inspiration recently, or rather the source of my lack of inspiration, has stemmed from the idea that my work is less than. Less than what? That I struggle to answer.

The idea of sharing my work, questioning why I do what I do, and the insatiable inner-critic precariously add to the egotistical side of my practice while the calm, stability-seeking being on the other side wants little more than to use a finger to roll that bolder right back down the hill… I suppose it actually happens quite often.

Probably once a day.

However much or little I feel inspired, I do always have ideas that pop up in my head. The biggest hurdle is action. Especially with photography as the basis of my practice, I often end up burnt out trying to derive how to approach these ideas. How do you take a medium that captures fleeting moments, and convey something specific enough that others can perceive it? How does the photographer communicate a perspective that, by definition, only exists in one place in time?

I recently have felt a lack of depth and meaning behind my work, however, I no longer know how connected I feel to that statement. I don’t think I ever look at another’s work and fail to find its meaning- simply because whatever the photographer says it means, does not mean anything if the viewer sees another interpretation.

I think maybe what I am actually interested in is the idea that I dream of making work that does not require an explanation. I want to be unattached as the photographer, unassociated as the artist behind the work. I honestly don’t think the artist should be considered in deriving the meaning behind their work. They should exist separately.

I (THE ARTIST) must make images with a clear and concise subject. Using red pen, I (THE ARTIST) will circle and label the subject. As if depth of field and composition aren’t enough for the viewer, I (THE ARTIST) will hold the viewers hand and draw arrows pointing directly to who I (THE ARTIST) am telling the viewer to look at.

I (THE ARTIST) must remove the subject from my negatives, or use whiteout on the images to say, “you know what, you (the viewer) don’t even deserve to see what I (THE ARTIST) deem so incredible as to spend an expensive negative on”.

I (THE ARTIST) must shoot in black and white. Regardless of what I (THE ARTIST) want, I will shoot in black and white. For all intents and purposes, it’s too distracting. If the viewer can’t find the subject or finds the wonderful world of saturation too distracting, I will just take a few extra moments before and after triggering the shutter to enjoy the colorful world around me and deliver a grey-scale version to anyone who ends up in front of my image.

I (THE ARTIST) must hold myself and my work to the highest standard possible. This really means the images released to be consumed are the ones that an algorithm can predict will perform. Even your (the viewer’s) appetite is not individually decided. Even my (THE ARTIST’s) only born skill (the ability to create) is affected by impersonal and global suppression. I (THE ARTIST) and you (the viewer) reccognize that the consumer is the consumed.

Maybe I should make one of those bullshit ethics clauses that people simply fill their name into that says they will make “best efforts” to do everything right….